Writers sat enthralled in room 316 of Bessey Hall. Each student watched as Bobby Hawthorne gave his daily lecture on just how to write the best you can. Today’s lesson: How to be a columnist, and sure fire ways to fail. Ways to fail included that to fail, a columnist must: ramble, chit-chat with readers, meander, use clichés, and over exaggerate a situation.
Laughter filled the classroom every time Hawthorne exhibited a fine example of how not to write columns. These examples were akin to: your school described akin to a theme park, talking down to readers, writing why you couldn’t write a column, and creating a column on ‘The Gas We Pass.’
Hawthorne gave this lecture as a way to help his students correctly polish off not only their previous assignment, a 300 word column,- but also as a way to get ready for their next assignment, a column with a topic of their choosing.
Today’s lecture was the last of the year for Hawthorne’s class, and will be the last chance he will be able to give to his class advice.
“To make [the students] understand that writing should be fun, and they should enjoy it. They should trust their own voice, and use it as often as possible.” Hawthorne said.